Movies

Last Friday I decided to go to the movies. I hadn't been to the theater since Superman Returns, so my girlfriend and I decided to catch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. We had enjoyed the previous one (to my surprise).

The movie was bad. Well, I should clarify. It is not so much that it was bad, as that it was the exact same movie as the previous one. Seriously. The same movie. This was supposed to be the origin story of Leatherface (or so I thought) . . . but it is not. It is practically a remake of the remake. A couple of teens are cruising through the wrong part of Texas at the wrong time, crazy Sherif gets involved, they get taken to the house, some chick with tight jeans is the only one that is not captured, a couple gruesome chainsaws kills, jeans-chick ends up at the slaughter house as good old Leatherface chases her down. Movie ends. Same movie. So unoriginal. So predictable.

I'll give it props for its "look" and for its pretty impressive gore. Can't wait to see the unrated director's cut. But on the whole, huge disappointment. We should have gone to see The Departed, I hear it is great.

But while I was in the movie theater, I realized something. I hate going to the movies. That is an odd thing for me to say, because I love film. And I used to love going to the movies. But nowadays, I'll take my couch, my HDTV, surround sound, and Netflix any day.

And I have nothing against the theaters themselves, just the stupid people that go to them. The movies have become a social gathering for friends to go to and hang out instead of watching the movie they just paid $10 to see. The constant talking, idiots screaming out remarks in a pathetic attempt to be funny and feel good about their miserable lives, the sticky floors, the kids crying (in an R rated movie no less), it all adds up to a truly frustrating experience on my end.

When I go to the movies, I go to, well, watch a movie. I get there a minimum of an hour early to get tickets and seats (earlier if it is a major release) and I like to sit down in my chair with plenty of time to spare and just relax. Which brings me to one of my many pet peeves. I purposely get there early because I am very particular about where I sit in the auditorium. I like optimum seating for maxim enjoyment. Do you think I like sitting down 45 minutes early, listening to that dreadful music and reading those boring, repetitive slides? No, I get there early so that I can choose the one seat in the place that I want to sit in for the next couple of hours and take in the movie. So, this past Friday, I am sitting in my seat (and had been for a good ½ hour), the movie is about to start and the auditorium is filling up quickly. Then I get the dreaded tap on the shoulder. "Hehehe, excuse me, but do you think you could move down two seats . . . it's that we have four in our group and since we like to get to the theater 2 minutes before the show is supposed to start, there are only two seats together here, but if you move down two seats we can all sit together."

Son of a . . . .

If there is one thing I hate, it is moving from my seat (which I came early for) because some dumbasses in a large group show up late and want to sit together. Oh, you want to sit together? Then get to the fucking theater ½ an hour earlier! If not, get used to sitting apart!

Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. Just one of the many, many . . . many reason, why I just can't stand going to the theater. And none of them have to do with the outrageous prices. I'll deal with the high costs (hey, these movies nowadays cost a pretty penny to make). No, all my reasons have to do with humanity's stupidities and my inability to deal with them. Man I hate people.

Ok, rant over. Don't go see The Texans Chains Massacre: The Beginning.