My 360 Story

Well folks, the adventure is over. Last Friday, December 30, 2005, I finally got a 360. It has been a painful month - especially the last two weeks - but sitting (standing actually) in a small space under my t.v., is my 360. And damn, it sure looks good as hell there.

But really, I shouldn’t say the adventure is over, because it is not. It is only just beginning. And that isn’t some cheesy metaphor for the amount of fun I am going to have playing my new toy, no, no at all. I’m referring to the huge battle I am going to have with FedEx regarding the delivery of my system. Or lack thereof. Oh, did I forget to mention, the 360 I got is NOT the one I ordered from Circuit City (which I mentioned here) a few weeks back. No, that one is still “somewhere” in my local FedEx facility. Only problem is, no one knows where. Nice.

So, the story goes like this. The aforementioned 360 arrived in Miami at 5:30am on Saturday, Dec 24th. I was having it delivered to my job since that is where I am during the day. When I check the status of my package on Fedex.com on Christmas Eve, to my surprise, it says that it has arrived and will be delivered that day, 12/24! I jump for joy, since it arrived earlier than I thought it would, but at the same time I am worried because my job is closed for the Christmas weekend and won’t be open until the following Tuesday. If they attempt to deliver it, they won’t be able to. So, I decide to call them up and let them know that I am willing to pick up the package directly from the warehouse. After a month of tracking this thing down I would not have been able to sleep at night knowing that it was already here and I was going to have to wait until the following Tuesday to get it. I speak to FedEx and they patch me through to my local FedEx warehouse. I am now speaking to a young man who says he can try to look for my package so that I can pick it up. He takes down my information . . . and then asks me if I know what is in the package, since it is the Christmas rush and they are swamped with packages and boxes. I freeze. What do I say? I want my 360 now and want to do whatever I can to assist this guy in finding it, but he sounds like a young kid and I really don’t want to go advertizing that in my package is the impossible-to-find-ever-elusive 360. I somehow say, “It’s an X-box”, leaving out the “360" part, but still extremely upset I had to let the cat out of the bag. He says, “Oh, it’s an X-Box . . .” and takes a pause. “Yes, why? Is there a problem”, I ask getting more and more suspicious by the second. “No, it’s just that those come in a regular brown box and it might be difficult to find”. Great I’m thinking. I tell him that I appreciate his help and to please give me a call when he finds it, since it is a Christmas gift. Sure, it isn’t really a Christmas Gift (well, it is . . . for myself!), but I felt by saying that it would show the urgency I had in getting the package and maybe make the bastard sympathetic and sentimental, since it is the season of giving an all that crap.

Well, to make a long story short, since then nobody knows where my package is. I never got a call back from the guy and I’ve called about 12 times and all they do is take down my information and say they will give me a call back.

Nothing. No call backs whatsoever.

This went on for a week. I finally send FedEx an e-mail and I get a confirmation from them saying that they’ve spoken with the terminal and that the package is available for pick-up at the warehouse. “Finally!”, I thought. I decided to take the next day off (last Friday), pick-up my 360 in the morning, and play for four days straight, only stopping for such things like eating, bathing, New Years and the Dolphins game. I wake up giddy with excitement and am at the warehouse at 9am sharp. I speak with one of the managers and let her know that I’m there to pick up my package and she leaves to go find it. My pulse is rising. Almost there. While waiting in the lobby I notice some posters on the walls. They are all about reporting theft. Oh great, this is just what I needed to see, a bunch of posters about anonymous tip-lines employees can call if they know of co-workers that are stealing. I try to calm myself down, after all, I received the e-mail from them saying that is was available to pick up. All I have to do it wait for this woman to come back. She has been gone an awful long time. She finally reappears . . . with nothing in her hands. Great. She asked me if I spoke with anyone from the warehouse regarding me picking the package up today. I said no, but I showed her the e-mail from FedEx stating that it was available for pick-up. She says ok and then leaves again.

What the hell is going on?

She comes back and says that they can’t locate my package at the moment, but that if I would leave her my name and number she would call me before 2pm, regardless if they find it or not. At this point I would just like to say that luckily I am not a violent person by nature, otherwise I would have been on the 10 o’clock news under the headline “Carnage at the FedEx warehouse”. I give her my name and info and leave in a daze. Could this actually be happening? I felt like I was in a Twilight Zone episode or at least on Punk’d. Was powerpuff trying to Punk me all the way from Washington?

As I got back in my car my disillusionment started turning to anger. Of all the things that could go wrong with a package being delivered, it had to be the one that I have been the most anxious to get . . . well, ever!! I start thinking back at my initial call to FedEx and that young kid I spoke to on Christmas Eve. I pictured him hanging up with me, laughing, and rubbing his hands in anticipation. Then I pictured him on Christmas Day, at home, playing MY X-Box 360!!!

As I am driving home, I’m getting angrier by the minute. What a waste of a day off. It is only 9:30am and I have a whole day (hell, a whole four-day weekend) with no 360 to show for it!!! Not even the thought of playing Guitar Hero the whole day can dissuade my anger. ARGH!!!

I am so upset that I can’t even go home yet. I need to blow off some steam. I decide to swing by Best Buy and wander around (one of my favorite pastimes. Sorry powerpuff, I know how much you hate them). As I am driving by the store I notice that it has not opened yet. Holiday hours are over and it is opening at 10am. There is already a line of people outside. Damn, there are a bunch of bored people out there who have nothing better to do than wait outside a store for 20 minutes for it to open. It is only 9:40am so I decide to go to the Target that is right next to Best Buy until it opens. It has a 360 kiosk. After playing the Call of Duty 2 demo for 5 minutes, instead of making me feel better, I felt worse. I decide to leave and go back to Best Buy and wait in line with the other losers. I am about the 20th person in line and a manager comes out and asks out loud, “Ok, so who’s here for the 360?”.

The what?!

The manager begins to walk down the line, handing out tickets to anybody who is there for an X-Box (surprisingly, not everybody was). I raise my hand, still confused and in shock, and he hands me a ticket. When he is done he tells everyone that they need to take ther ticket to the cashier and then they’ll give you your systems. The doors open and we go in. I am still in a state of shock, not knowing what was going on, but holding on to my ticket like my life depended on it (and really, I think my mental health did). I go up to the cashier, hand her my ticket, she motions to another employee standing by a door, and he opens it and goes inside. Inside that room, I see about 30 boxes of 360's stacked up. Holy mother of God!!!

So, to end this dreadfully long and boring story, I got my 360. Not through my initial “hook-up” at Walmart. Not through my other buddy that works at Circuit City. Not through my friend at work that has connections. Not by camping out in front of Best Buy on the 18th. And not by receiving it from FedEx after I purchased one. Nope. I got it once I stopped looking, by just walking right up to a store and buying one.

Funny how life works.

But, my ordeal with FedEx is just beginning. I am going to find out what happened to my 360 and I will raise hell in the process. Because if not for the border-line divine intervention that it was me finding one at Best Buy that day, I could have been left without anything at all and it all would have been because FedEx “lost” my package. And I don’t even want to think in what state I would have been right now if that would have been the case.

Powerpuff, I feel for you my friend, I know we’ve spoken about this already. But for the love of God man, if UPS asks you what is in the box, tell them it’s a large supply of rectal thermometers!!! Please!!!